Right or Wrong

Often we said, you are wrong or you are right

But how do we know whether the others, or ourselves is really wrong or right?

is there a clear line exist between right and wrong?

is there a formula to define right or wrong?

we don't know, and who dares to say that he or she, knows that

What if someone did something wrong, either morally or legally wrong, but it is only done to avoid something worse happen or to protect their own right? Let say someone steals in order to ensure continuance of their life? Or someone take something that they deserves, or genuinely belongs to them unlawfully, is that labelled as stealing as well? Are they right or wrong?

What if someone did something right, but harms another or caused grave consequence to others? Let say, a mother beat the child, but it is only for the child's own good, and sometimes, even the mother hurts more when she beats her child? Is the mother right or wrong?

Well, the law will never be right in defining right and wrong, because the causation, the reason behind a wrong act are never the same, whilst the law is just is static..

Sometimes I wonder, no, I always wonder, when someone claims that he did nothing wrong, refusing to admit that he is actually wrong and comes out with every creative excuses to support his claim, can we trust him? Is he really never do something wrong? Well, a man, often or rather to say seldom will admit that he did something wrong, or even he admit it, often he will then comes out with all those reasons to support what he did, just to prove that what he did is bout of good will, and it is never done with malice, however, nowadays, with all those people who always carrying their masks, I personally, really don't know how to trust someone, I really don't know how to differentiate what is right and what is wrong, and I too, don't know how to chose someone to be trusted by myself..

Sometimes, I'm even tired of my family, yeah! so pathetic.. When everyone has their own opinion, everyone refused to accept the others opinion, and no one wants to compromise, even if they sounds like they did compromise, but actually deep in their heart, they only feels that they are still the right one and they only 'compromise' because they are the matured ones.. Ughh, the chaos is just so unbearable.. I wished to just mute all those noise, and shut the world off...

Sometimes, I'm really tired of myself, tired of bracing myself to world, even my family, I'm really tired in having to analysing every word said by the others, and I'm really tired of the fake people around me..

Somehow I wished to just show the true face to the world, to trust everything the others told me and just trust everyone around me, but seems like I've tried, and because of this idiocy, I was hurt, mentally hurt so badly, and thus I now, finds its really hard to do the same even though deep in my soul, I wished to do so, so badly...

My wish at the end of this year

I wish, I can have a long enough holiday, then I can go to a foreign city, where I can brring my favourite novel with my lappy, sitting at the coffee shop beside the road, sipping my hot coffee, reading my novel, using my lappy, and looking at the hussle and bustle of the city out there..

I wish, I can have a long enough holiday, then I can go to a foreign country, with a lot of mystery I wanted to check it out do badly, with my loved one, just two or three of us, expore the mystery of the country...

I wish, if I cannot have a long enough holiday as I wished, then I will have to stay in this city with the works and studies, I wish to have a loved one, who I can call when I'm tired, when I'm stressed up, when I'm pissed off, and there's my loved one be there for me, offering me a sort of comfort...

I wish, I can have the kind of simple happiness, and be a simple blissful girl, just like those around me...

No matter what happens, I wish, I can be just as happy as I am, because I have every reason to stay happy...

Sometimes, somehow, for some reason, i always thought people is being cold to me, i think the world is harsh,

until today i realised, its wrong, awfully wrong,

it might be me, it might be my problem

it might be me the one who is being cold first

it might be me who failed to trust people around me

it might be me who failed to treat everyone around me with my true heart

somehow, i dont know why, i just can't trust some people around me, i always wonder if they are telling the truth, i always thought that people is wearing a mask

and that is why, i'm always holding back, i'm always cold as some people would describe me

but now, someone give a pang on my head

i realised, its time to be true, its time to trust some people, when it appears right to to so, and its time to tell the truth...

its time, to stop holding back

its time, to put down the stone in my heart

Sometimes, when i'm alone in the room

no friends no family around me

and the loneliness strikes

the feeling of being abandoned

the feeling of unwanted

it sucks to the most

it makes me feels like.. a piece of crap

and i hate it to the most

maybe sometimes, when you always value something rationally

you end up getting nothing

perhaps sometimes, a person will be happier when being irrational..

2010 In A Nutshell

Okay, here comes the time to sum this year up~

Its kinda.. a happening year for me

I studied in the most remote and isolated area, in the middle of the jungle

and I too studied in the middle of the most happening city in Malaysia, and still here and will be here for at least another 4 years

And I went to 3 countries in this year, soon turning 4 countries!

And me myself, once was in the darkest moment of my life (at least for this 18 years) and now here, changed into another person

Been through a lot of things in this year, I realised many things

I realised how important family is, and how blissful I am to have my family with me

I realised that sometimes I just can't be the stubborn bull as I was

I realised that I have to compromise and give up something important for me for the sake of another thing, more important

I realised that sometimes I just have to stop thinking, since thinking won't help much but only makes me stay in the mist of darkness

I realised that when I figured out something and be very sure that I wanna get it, I shouldn't hesitate for another minute, and just go for it

I realised that sometimes I just have to let the God of destiny to decide for me, when things are so unclear

I realised that I cannot take everything for granted, as nobody is bound to treat me nicely, so I have appreciate everyone of them

I realised that if something bad happened, I have to take it as another lesson of life, so that I wouldn't be so frustrated for it

I realised that sometimes praying is helpful to keep my mind calm and peace

And I realised that life is so short, so I can't just cling on the principle of mine all the time, but I have to try something new

And I realised that maybe death isn't that scary, as long as I enjoyed my life, it's enough, and I'm lucky enough...

Discrimination

Its all about discrimination nowadays

The first, hottest topic is about gender discrimination

The Iking Case, bringing out the topic of how s498 Penal Code discriminate women, specifically wifes. Penal Code is a kinda 'old' law in this land, originating from England and India, i can reasonably understand why it consist of such an absurd section. Somehow, old people, whether Western or non-Western people, set the concept of men above women, no matter what women do, they will never and cannot have their position elevated. Take England as an example, the King Henry VIII only knows to blame his queens for not conceiving a son, he totally neglected, or never considered the idea that his daughter can also be a queen, a great ruler of the land, just like Queen Elizabeth I. Instead, he keep on finding reasons and excuses to get rid of his queens and married a younger queen, just to get a son or fulfill his lust, had he ever think that, it might be his problem, for unable to get a son?

Lets look at the non-western countries, the first female king of China, and the only official one, Wu Zhe Tian, she is one of the respected women of mine. But people only accused her for killing her son and husband to be the King, to get the utmost power, but lets look at this from another angle, she was a great ruler, she ruled the country so well that makes the era one of the brightest Dynasty of China. Well, I have to say, to get power, they must do something against the morality. I doubt if any successful politician who never done anything against his own principle or the morality ever existed. What about the male Kings, many of them, not to say was a failure king for failing to safeguard his country but they even used his people's hard-earned money for their own enjoyment and satisfaction. But apparently, most people seems to neglected them, not accusing them but putting harsh accusations on the female king, for using tactics to get power. Not to be a male discriminate here, just stressing the point here, that why can't people just view things equally regardless whether that is a man or women.

And the funny thing here is that, our country has bring this absurd, totally outdated concept here, intending that would do any good to our people, to safeguard the harmony of our society. The society is not static, the society keep changing, people's mindset keep on changing with time, but what about of law, not to say its failure to keep on track with the social change, but now, there are people defending the existence of such absurd law. I doubt if Malaysia can truly reach the very ambitious Vision 2020 with this kind of people, so many of them present in the government board, and having great power.

First Love is always the best..

I miss my first boyfriend

I miss it when he used to call me just to play me my favourite Canon in D

I miss it when he used to text me just to tell me that he miss me

I miss it when we used to be so sweet

I miss it when he used to care about he way he treated me, afraid that he might not doing the best for me

And i hate myself for dumping him

I was so bad, so bad that I don't even turn and look back when he begged me

I hate myself till now for doing that

Maybe because of that, so I don't deserve a decent guy since then?