Attachment- The great achievement

During the 2 months of attachment, I learned a lot, a lot from the lawyers in the firm.

The partner gave me a great task of research, which i am to look for everything related to the Civil Law Act, from the beginning of the Act in UK, till the latest amendment in Malaysia, the reasons behind every amendment, and lastly, the problem of the provision, and proposed changes.

Throughout the research, I learned, almost can do it with my eyes closed to look for related cases.
I learned the way a lawyer think,
I learned the importance of experience, because a very experienced clerk in the firm knows everything, alomst everything that even a lawyer dont know, or cant remember. He got arguments and ideas which are comparable to a lawyer's, i mean an experienced lawyer's idea. And yet he is nice, generous, and kind just like a grandpa.

In the last week, I was given a chance to join the lawyer's monthly meeting, and that was the time when my boss told me that my research article will be sent to the publisher of the Malayan Law Journal, which means that if everything is alright, it will be published in the Journal. That's a WOW! And he gave me a great compliment when he said I did a marvelous job, whether its true or not, it means a lot for me, because i was not treated like an intern who knows nothing, who only cause troubles. But the way they treat interns are, whether u studied it or not, whether you know it or not, i will give u this task and you will get it done no matter how. I will say, they are great teachers in the firm, even better than some lecturers or teachers. They are dedicated, although a bit of confident aka arrogant sometimes. But maybe that's normal, because the lawyer, Mr Muzamil told me that the prominent judge, Dato' Gopal Sri Ram hates it when a lawyer says 'I humbly submit' because A LAWYER IS NEVER HUMBLE.

Besides, the lawyers also often like to ask us to research for the cases as authorities for their trial cases. And thus i developed with the skills to look for cases related to the topic that i want, and filter them based on qualities. Quote from the lawyer, 'you always assume that the other side has many bullets, so you have to find more bullets than them, or you have to find a bomb to win their bullets.' Sounds funny, but its true..

Well, despite the pathetic payment for allowance, I will still praise the firm, for giving me this chance, in an coincidence, letting me achieve to another end.

Grown Up

The way to feel the process of growing up, i get to notice it more obvious than ever, that I am now a 20 year old girl, supposed to be more matured than I am.

The first one, freedom. As in I noticed that when hanging out with friends, most of us are driving. There were the days we used to rely on our parents, friends' parents, or elder sisters or brothers to fetch us out. We used to ask each other "Are your parents fetching u later?", and now we will ask "Are u driving later? Can u give me a ride?" We no longer stand there and wait for our parents to come to fetch us home, but we walk towards our own car, hearing the sound of car door unlocking across the parking lot, which are our friends' cars. That feels kinda... grown up..

The second, which is the one I dont like, seeing our parents aging. The previous years, I heard news from friends saying that XX's dad had a heart attack, YY's dad just passed away, ZZ's mother just went for an operation. I dont have any special feelings when hearing these news, but felt sorry for my friends.And then time goes on, my own parents started to got the obvious signs of aging. Not to say the hair growing grey, but health deteriorating. My father's blood glucose got quite high, close to be boundary line, and there after he cannot eat sweet foods, which were his favourite before that. He got to control his meal, cannot drink sweet tea, almost only drink Kopi-O-Kosong, which he forced himself fall in love with these drinks and foods. My parents cholesterol level got a bit high, so they will have to control their daily meal. I see my family's meals got tasteless and oil-less. But that was acceptable, considered as a way of living healthier lifestyle for me.

Until today, when mom come home and told me that daddy is going in ward for a check up for his heart, because the basic check up procedure today show that his heart beats are not that normal. If the next check-up shows any blockage, he will have to go into operation immediately. Well, that strikes me when i first heard that. The feeling of... your loved one might be in danger. And my dad didnt tell me anything about it when he came home earlier. He was smiling, offering to buy me lunch, not showing any signs of worry, more normal than normal.I dont know why. I dont know whether he is just trying to conform himself or trying to not to let us worry. My sister and brother in law told us that its not a big deal, just some normal procedure, but still... when my closest family member has to be 'hospitalized', the term that i dont like it much, whether big deal or small deal, its impossible that you will be not worried.
I pray to God, that my father will be ALRIGHT, my family will stay HEALTHY and HAPPY always. I pray to God to grant my parents health and happiness.

Just today, it strikes me with the fact that I'm grown up, my parents are old.. I should be more matured than I am. Shouldn't be throwing tantrum like a little girl, shouldn't be putting the burdens on my parents when i find it unbearable, because now, its my turn to share my parents' burden. 

The Angean Plane Crash - 1972

The note that the survivors wrote to get help to their mates who are still on the mountain.

The mountain where the plane crashed.

View from helicopter.

The Angean Plane Crash in 1972, was about the plane that crashed, on one of the mountain among the thousands in between Argentina and Chile. The survivors ate the body of their dead mates to survive on top of the chilling, snowing, no other signs of living creature mountain. And they remained alive by eating human flesh for 72 days until 3 survivors climbed for 10 days over the mountains, without any equipment, without any knowledge or experience, and reached Chile, called for help to rescue their mates. They were reluctant to tell the public that they survived by eating the bodies, and they told the press that they survived on eating the cheese that they carried on board, until an unauthorised article was published together with photos, they were being called as Cannibals. And even when they return to their homeland, Uruguay, they were being welcomed by newspapers with headline "Cannibals are back".

Ladies and gentleman, the issue is, whether human life supercede dignity of a dead person, or otherwise. Well, apparently some people think that the survivors should choose to starve to death on top of the showing mountain, but not to eat the dead body, because the dead bodies, belonged to human.

Maybe there's no definite right or wrong answer, that depends on your own way to value dignity and a life.

But here's my own personal view. I think that did just the right thing to eat the dead body to survive. The reason is simple, because for me, a living human is more important than preserving a dead body. A dead person, is.. just gone.. the body is nothing but a lifeless shell, and why should we let go of our life for preserving a life-less shell? I don't see the point. Just like what one of the survivors said:" Why should I feel guilty, I should celebrate for life."

I'm not boosting or supporting Cannibalism here, neither am I like human flesh nor ate human flesh. I don't even dare to imagine that taste. Neither do the survivors wished to eat the human flesh. They are Roman Catholics, most of them are, for God's sake. It took them for a few days to make the decision to eat the dead body, because they know that its either die, or eat the bodies. But their decision wasn't wrong, at least there are people who supported them, who tell them they did just the right thing, including the priest.

BUT, this still varies from people to people. My dad, for example, is disgusted by them, because he thinks that, the dead body are human, even though dead, so they shouldn't have ate them. When I heard him said this, it made me think of something about the value of life; is human's life more precious just because we are human, because we call ourselves as the King of all the living creatures in this world? Why didn't we think about the same thing when we are happily eating chicken, lamb, mutton, etc etc etc.... Is their life so valueless? Although me myself is a Omnivore, and i didn't have to thought to be a vegetarian, I got no stand to fight for the right to live for these animals. But still, I think that we shouldn't over value human life. It is inappropriate, to fix the principle that a human should not eat a dead human body in order to survive, but a human got every right to kill a living animal for food.

It is incredible for these people to get to survive on top of a showing mountain with no winter equipment, food and water, but dead bodies and snow. They had done what an ordinary human cannot do. Quote from the survivor, We should celebrate for life.

实习之 外传---Attachment

After declaring that i wanna work since after Form 5, finally, the dream come true, and im working in the law firm, the largest law firm in Kuantan, Messrs Balendran Chong.

I think im a lucky one. Because... this gonna lead to the most gossip-py office gossip in this firm.. The manager is a very very hate-able indian man, who makes a manager-kind-of job his part time, and his full time is BACKSTABBING.
Back to the point, this manager, he rarely forward the resume sent into his mail box to the partners. People usually have to call a few times, only they will be called by the partner to go for an interview.
Well, I m lucky cause i got to come to interview just after sorund 2 weeks i sent my resume. And i dont know what happened makes him being so efficient in my case. Maybe its just luck?

And then, after the very blur and scared first day (i dont even dare to drink water or go to the washroom...) But lucky enough, the colleagues are very very kind. They will always ask me where to go for lunch, some even will think a place for me to have lunch. When u accidentally showed a blur face, then they will ask u what's wrong and help u.. It made me feels like i'm a baby in the office, being protected by the others. lol.. That's the thing really surprised me, i never imagined office life is gonna be a so so friendly environment.

This firm, although so-called the largest firm in Kuantan, its actually not THAT large.. There are 10 lawyers, including partners, over 30 clerks, 2 attachee (including me) for the moment, and 1 chambering student. There one mini library,which has most of the needed case reports, and CCTVs, and spirits (due to the old history of the firm).

My boss is a high demand yet willing to teach lawyer boss. He gave me a mission in the first week working. He asked me to do an research on an issue which they are going to be argue in an appeal case. It's honourable to get to do this research, because, my boss told me that i have the license to use any resource and money and any staff to assist me in this research, as long as I get everything that he want, as much as I can. It made me feel.... more... more than an intern.. I learned a lot on how twist-able a lawyer's mind can be when they get to argue something. It amazed me sometimes. I spent 2 months time in that research, which it appears to be my new-born baby when the article is finally out.

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2 months passed faster than I thought. And today is the last day of my attachment life aka my first time working for 20 years. The feeling, is happy to rest, but sad to leave. I already get used to this OL life, just like what my colleagues said, working together in a office (which is not so big) is just like a big family. Yeah, especially when everyone is happy and friendly.

My chinese colleagues even asked me out for lunch, and they treated me that meal. That's really touching because they seldom go out for lunch. They normally eat in office. That makes me.... feel... really good...

Indeed, there are a lot more to talk about my attachment life, every single bit of thing is special for me. Will work on it slowly, since i still have 1 month slacking time...

又吵架了！

跟大姐又吵架了。

我们从小关系就不是非常好，也不是不好，就是爱吵架。可能是因为性格太相近，很难忍受她。她这人讲话又不经大脑，好听的说就是直接，没心机，难听点，就是笨，容易吃亏，不会变通（现在在气头上，有对她数不完的怨恨和缺点）。

也不知道为什么，我可以忍耐很多人，就是不爱乡忍耐她那死人脾气。以前的话，我一定不会忍，一定会跟她大吵一顿，可是现在心想大家都长大了，EQ应该要高一点，拼命把那把无名火忍了下来，长大了就不好常吵架，不然我也怕会像阿姨们一样，都这么多年了，感情也不好。再说了，这个女人要嫁了，虽然嫁了还是会和娘家住得很近，可是，不知怎么说，就是会有不同。

可能也不是我的问题，是她的问题。因为二姐也曾经和她吵得很凶，到现在还是有一点心结。
为了那件事，妈妈因为大姐性格比较内向，老是帮她讲话，和二姐起了很多次冲突。

唉，也不知道怎么说，总之，姐妹就只有三个，应该要保持良好关系的。。。虽然她有时讲话是会令我想打人，可是有时也是很好的。。。

所以，还是老土的一句，小不忍则乱大谋，百忍成金啊！

他说

这个人，很奇怪，可是我们一直保持联络，其实也只有他每次找我。
就在这一天，我在office偷懒上FB，忘记appear offline, 然后他来找我chat。
我怕被那个讨人厌的manager发现，又不想和他chat，一直敷衍他。
吓死我了，他居然跟我将说他要来Kuantan找我！
我说，我很忙，真的很忙，我做完Attachment要去泰国，不在家。（其实也没有骗人，我是真的要去泰国的，只是没有这么快去，没去这么久而以）然后我就一如既往快手快脚GoOffline。
多谢FB的新Function，AppearOffline了还可以收到Message。
不久后我收到他的Message，他说，我真的很想明白你，可是我尝试了，我还是不明白你，没关系，我会努力的。
心里一阵内疚，很想跟他说，你不用明白我，因为我不想你明白我，再说了，我也不明白自己。觉得自己很坏，可是没办法。。。。。
就算了吧，心里知道他不是什么好人，也不过是假假而已，不用放在心里。

好了，要回去工作了，还有半个小时要放工了。。外面再大雷，好像要下大雨，令我想起早上看到的新闻，菲律宾和韩国被暴风雨袭击，死了很多人，也会影响到这里的天气。
唉，天气越来越奇怪，天灾很多，难道真的要世界末日了？目前还不想死啊。。。
很长气，真的要走了。。。
完笔。

见或不见

你见
或者不见我
我便在那里
不悲不喜。

你念
或者不念我
情就在那里
不来不去

你爱
或者不爱我
爱就在那里
不增不减

你跟
或者不跟我
我的手就在你手里
不离不弃

来到我的怀里
或者让我住到你的心里

默然   相爱
寂静   欢喜


不知道为什么，就觉得这首诗很有feel。。。
作者是一个喇嘛，身不由己的爱上了公主，说是断了六根，可是啊，从一出生从上辈子带来的，又怎能说断就断呢。。。
写出了这首诗，虽然字用得不深，可是却是用了最简单直接的方式表达出海枯石烂的爱意。没有富丽堂皇的修饰，只有人最简单的情感。
哎哟喂，最近很是欣赏中国文学，没有政治的肮脏龌龊，只有高尚的情操，优雅的字眼，古人的感性。谁说我崇洋了。。才没有呢。。这些年的华语可不是白读的。。我呀，说起一口标准的华语来，还是有人以为我是中国人哪！