The way to feel the process of growing up, i get to notice it more obvious than ever, that I am now a 20 year old girl, supposed to be more matured than I am.
The first one, freedom. As in I noticed that when hanging out with friends, most of us are driving. There were the days we used to rely on our parents, friends' parents, or elder sisters or brothers to fetch us out. We used to ask each other "Are your parents fetching u later?", and now we will ask "Are u driving later? Can u give me a ride?" We no longer stand there and wait for our parents to come to fetch us home, but we walk towards our own car, hearing the sound of car door unlocking across the parking lot, which are our friends' cars. That feels kinda... grown up..
The second, which is the one I dont like, seeing our parents aging. The previous years, I heard news from friends saying that XX's dad had a heart attack, YY's dad just passed away, ZZ's mother just went for an operation. I dont have any special feelings when hearing these news, but felt sorry for my friends.And then time goes on, my own parents started to got the obvious signs of aging. Not to say the hair growing grey, but health deteriorating. My father's blood glucose got quite high, close to be boundary line, and there after he cannot eat sweet foods, which were his favourite before that. He got to control his meal, cannot drink sweet tea, almost only drink Kopi-O-Kosong, which he forced himself fall in love with these drinks and foods. My parents cholesterol level got a bit high, so they will have to control their daily meal. I see my family's meals got tasteless and oil-less. But that was acceptable, considered as a way of living healthier lifestyle for me.
Until today, when mom come home and told me that daddy is going in ward for a check up for his heart, because the basic check up procedure today show that his heart beats are not that normal. If the next check-up shows any blockage, he will have to go into operation immediately. Well, that strikes me when i first heard that. The feeling of... your loved one might be in danger. And my dad didnt tell me anything about it when he came home earlier. He was smiling, offering to buy me lunch, not showing any signs of worry, more normal than normal.I dont know why. I dont know whether he is just trying to conform himself or trying to not to let us worry. My sister and brother in law told us that its not a big deal, just some normal procedure, but still... when my closest family member has to be 'hospitalized', the term that i dont like it much, whether big deal or small deal, its impossible that you will be not worried.
I pray to God, that my father will be ALRIGHT, my family will stay HEALTHY and HAPPY always. I pray to God to grant my parents health and happiness.
Just today, it strikes me with the fact that I'm grown up, my parents are old.. I should be more matured than I am. Shouldn't be throwing tantrum like a little girl, shouldn't be putting the burdens on my parents when i find it unbearable, because now, its my turn to share my parents' burden.
The first one, freedom. As in I noticed that when hanging out with friends, most of us are driving. There were the days we used to rely on our parents, friends' parents, or elder sisters or brothers to fetch us out. We used to ask each other "Are your parents fetching u later?", and now we will ask "Are u driving later? Can u give me a ride?" We no longer stand there and wait for our parents to come to fetch us home, but we walk towards our own car, hearing the sound of car door unlocking across the parking lot, which are our friends' cars. That feels kinda... grown up..
The second, which is the one I dont like, seeing our parents aging. The previous years, I heard news from friends saying that XX's dad had a heart attack, YY's dad just passed away, ZZ's mother just went for an operation. I dont have any special feelings when hearing these news, but felt sorry for my friends.And then time goes on, my own parents started to got the obvious signs of aging. Not to say the hair growing grey, but health deteriorating. My father's blood glucose got quite high, close to be boundary line, and there after he cannot eat sweet foods, which were his favourite before that. He got to control his meal, cannot drink sweet tea, almost only drink Kopi-O-Kosong, which he forced himself fall in love with these drinks and foods. My parents cholesterol level got a bit high, so they will have to control their daily meal. I see my family's meals got tasteless and oil-less. But that was acceptable, considered as a way of living healthier lifestyle for me.
Until today, when mom come home and told me that daddy is going in ward for a check up for his heart, because the basic check up procedure today show that his heart beats are not that normal. If the next check-up shows any blockage, he will have to go into operation immediately. Well, that strikes me when i first heard that. The feeling of... your loved one might be in danger. And my dad didnt tell me anything about it when he came home earlier. He was smiling, offering to buy me lunch, not showing any signs of worry, more normal than normal.I dont know why. I dont know whether he is just trying to conform himself or trying to not to let us worry. My sister and brother in law told us that its not a big deal, just some normal procedure, but still... when my closest family member has to be 'hospitalized', the term that i dont like it much, whether big deal or small deal, its impossible that you will be not worried.
I pray to God, that my father will be ALRIGHT, my family will stay HEALTHY and HAPPY always. I pray to God to grant my parents health and happiness.
Just today, it strikes me with the fact that I'm grown up, my parents are old.. I should be more matured than I am. Shouldn't be throwing tantrum like a little girl, shouldn't be putting the burdens on my parents when i find it unbearable, because now, its my turn to share my parents' burden.
No comments:
Post a Comment