The Brink

The stress comes immediately at the very first day of class after cny

I dont know whether is the kiasu-ness

or its the high expectations from others

or its the high expectation to myself

or its that im over-estimating the stress coping ability of mine

or its that the low self esteem

I just feel like giving up

giving up my life

giving up all the problem

and just run away and hide

But I know, its impossible

its just a thought, a dream that will never ever be realised,

its just a very greedy thought

a very irrational and illogical thought

I know

I just need something for me to be my hope

Something, to guide me to the bright side of my life, no matter how tough it seems to be now

Or someone to tell me everything will be fine soon, to tell me not to give up,

or just to grab my hand, and run.. run away from all the problems.. everything, and never look back.

but again.. it appeared to be just another greedy thought

everyone is selfish over here

when there's problem, everyone will just focus on their problem,

no one cares, no one wants to waste their time, just to lend me their ears

they come and say hi, and then say bye and leave when they feel to do so

I am at the brink of collapsing...